#RinganSikitTerasa

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah uols!! This week abemat feels soooooo happy la uols Alhamdulillah all praises to Allah kn. Sama ada skrg ni kita gembira atau pon sedih, igt la dua2 tu ujian dari yg Maha Bijaksana, Dia nk tgk ape reaksi kita, berputus asa kah? leka kah? brsyukur kah?, piki2 kan la yek. Abemat ade story sket ni nk cite, abemat nk kongsi kegembiraan abemat minggu nih so that insyaAllah berjangkit gak kegumbiraan abemat kt pembaca2 blog abemat(kalau ade) ni. Ingat! walaupon ape jua yg trjadi, sentiasa la ceria yek, senyum je n jgn trlalu piki sgt juz take a deeeep breath, be calm n face it!! kn dlm quran ade pesan "La tahzan, InnAllaha ma'ana".. "jgn berduka, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita". syukur la kita sbb Allah pilih kita sbg umat islam yg ada Allah utk mengadu jika ditimpa musibah, x la mcm org laen (org yg x dpt hidayah aka kafir) yg jika ade masalah skit mula la buat menda gila-bunuh diri, mencuri, membunuh dsbgnya. ok back to d main toic plak. Minggu ni abemat sgt2 happy sbb 1st skali kuiz sikit je n alhamdulillah smua sng2 seyh! haha.. n 2nd minggu ni my parents mai sni taw, depa nk mlawat abemat. Time diorng dtg sni abemat sakan bawak diorng jln2 bandar kuantan n x lupa gak bawak diorng pegi Telok Chempedak yg indah lg menenangkan huhuu best!! Then, thirdly, JPA abemat masyuuuuk!! setelah sekian lama menunggu n tinggal 2bulan lg duk sni bru nk msok JPA punya duit nih, susah tul, depa JPA ni x taw ke perasaan kiteorng n mngkin diorng xtaw penantian tu satu penyeksaan. tp it's ok JPA i maafkn u. alhamdulillah dpt rm5+++ hehe. Parents abemat nasihat: "guna duit tu secara berhemat n berhikmah, jgn terlalu boros yek" hahahaha. Gembira x? gembira laaa! jom sama2 gembira ngn abemat yuk! ok stop! merepek doh abemat ni sorry. ok nk pesan ni, klau korang dpt berita gumbira mcm abemat ni, jgn lupa say Alhamdulillah n sebaik2 nya sujud syukur ye. lastly, BE HAPPY, BE CHILL, BE RELAX.
                                                                                                                                                   -zidam-

#KenapaTakBersyukur?

Assalamualaikum n a very good day to all my beloved brothers and sisters in Islam. Alhamdulillah3x bnyk2kan la kita bersyukur kepada Ilahi di atas semua ni'mat yg diberi. Dia la yg menciptakan kita dgn sebaik-baik ciptaan, dia la yang appoint kita as the khalifah on this earth, He is the one who sustain us with all the bounties so that we can survive on this worldly lives, Dia la yg menggerakkan jantung, menyalurkan udara dan menggerakkan darah dlm vessels kita, Dia la yang mengurniakan kita dgn tumbuhan2 yang begitu banyak manfaatnya, Dia jua la yang innervates loves, desires, anger, sadness, and all d feelings in our soul. Banyak lagi ni'mat2 yg Allah kurniakan kepada kita dan kalau abemat enumerates all, mmg confirm la jd blogpost-limit (ade ke???) hahaha. "Then, which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (genies and man) deny?" (Ar-Rahman: 13, 16, 18, 21, 23, 25, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40, 42, 45, 47, 49, 51, 53, 55, 57, 59, 61, 63, 65, 67, 69, 71, 73, 75, 77). Dalam surah Ar-Rahman, Allah telah menceritakan atau listkan sebahagian kecil antara ni'mat2 atau kebaikan2 yg Dia kurniakan kepada kita, mmg layak la Allah listkan smua nya sbb Dia la Maha Pemberi segalanya n this as a reminder to us since manusia ni always lupa dr mana dia datang n ke mana dia akn kembali. Lain pula utk mnusia, sebagai contoh: kalau sorang manusia ni listkan balik kebaikan2 yang telah dia lakukan kpd seseorang, manusia ni mmg dikira mengungkit, takabbur, xikhlas, ujud, dan harapkan pembalasan. Meh abemat nk tanya! kenapa mengharap pembalasan manusia sampaikan sanggup melupakan Allah? layakkah kita mngungkit kebaikan yg telah kita lakukan?  layakkah kita takabbur dgn kelebihan yg kita ada? sedangkan Allah jua la sebaik2 pemberi balasan dan dgn kehendak Dia la yang membolehkan kita lakukan kebaikan tu. So, bersyukurlah, bersyukurlah dan bersyukurlah. Ingatlah wahai sahabat, lebih2 lagi kita pelajar2 univ, walaupon rendah sekalipon kuiz, test n exam kita, tetap la bersyukur sbb itu sebahagian drp ujian Allah kepada kita, pernah x dgr kata2 ni: "kejayaan selepas kegagalan ialah kejayaan yg paling manis". so, xperlu la resah gelisah, terus kan usaha kamu dan istiqamahlah dlm beramal n jgn putus asa mengharap kurniaan dri nya dan jgn putus asa berdoa meminta dri Maha Pemberi. Dan yg cemerlang tu kena igt, tu pun salah satu ujian dr Allah ye, bersyukur bnyk2 jgn leka ngn kejayaan tu, igt la Allah boley tarik bila2 je ni'mat tu dri kita. ok abemat berundur dulu sekali lg abemat nk igt kn, bnyk2 bersyukur, n ulangan ayat quran diatas tu sebnyk 31 kali bukan sia2, itu sbgai peringatan kpd kita utk tros n x putus2 bersyukur. BE GRATEFUL, BE THANKFUL, BE HUMBLE

                                                                                                                                                 -zidam-

#AmalanPelajar"Genius"

Assalamualaikum saudara2 se-islam abemat!! hari ni ari sabtu 11 Zulhijjah 1433 brmakna this is d 2nd day of eid adha and the takbir still can be heard harmoniously from my beautiful masjid! before i started, i wanna wish uols selamat hari raya aidil adha!! sebarkan salam, eratkan hubungan! moga hidup kita penuh keberkatan.. ok back to the topic iaitu #AmalanPelajar"Genius"! actully abemat nak kongsi sikit ayat2 n doa2 yg abemat sdiri tgh brusaha utk istiqamah dlm mengamal ayat2 n doa2 ni. istiqamah ni memang susah tp depends on diri kita sdiri gak bak kata org2 dulu "dimana ada kemahuan disitu ada jalan". first thing first ialah amalan nih:-

1. setiap kali sebelum solat subuh, buat dlu solat sunat qobliah(sebelum) subuh n lps selesai solat sunat tu, selawat la kepada junjungan mulia nabi kita yg tercinta sebanyak 3x, uols taw camne selawat kn?klau xigt meh abe mat bg link selawat yg paling simple n mudah di igt hehe. ok lps selawat baca plak surah al-insyirah sebanyak tiga kali, lps tu baca surah Al 'A-la dr 1st ayat sampai ayat ni la selawat yg paling simple so abemat harap uols igt ye hehe.. ok lps selawat baca plak surah al-insyirah sebanyak tiga kali, lps tu baca surah Al 'A-la dr 1st ayat sampai ayat yg ke-6 n then tiup tangan kanan korang n letakkan tgn kanan td di bahagian kiri dada (jantung) korang n ulang ayat ke-6 tu sebanyak 3x dan setiap bacaan tu tiup n letak tgn kanan korang kt jantung korang ye!. eh! abemat lupa nk bgtaw khasiat amalan ni,, fyi, amalan ni insyaAllah dpt menguatkan memori kita n korang smua taw kn betapa pentingnya ingatan yg kuat lebih2 lagi utk pelajar mcm kita ni kn? huhu

2. amalan kedua, amalan ni alhamdulillah setakat ni abemat lebih istiqamah berbanding amalan pertama td almaklumla kn kdg2 trbgun lmbt n xsmpat nk solat sunat tu dek kerana nk kejar solat subuh dlm waktu kn! ahahhaa astaghfirullah minx2 la kita semua dipermudahknNya utk beramal amiiin. ok back to d poin. amalan kedua ni senang je, setiap selepas solat, specifically, sebelum baca doa, baca la dulu ayat seribu dinar,,, taw x ayat seribu dinar? hish korang ni semua xtaw ye hehe gurau je,,, utk saudara abemat yg xtaw ni abemat bg link ayat 1000dinar
abemat sgt2 berharap korang smua boleh hafal ayat 100dinar ni sbb fyi bnyk khasiat ayat ni lebih2 lagi bg kita pelajar ni. ayat ni klau diamalkan insyaAllah dpt murah kan rezeki kita n dpt bg kita jalan klua drpd segala masalah, so jgn stress2 taw amalkan ayt ni deh hehe.

3. abemat taw hampir smua or abemat ase semua manusia kt dunia ni msty prnah menghadapi org tua2 panggil "blank" dlm dewan exam kn2? ok ni abemat nk kongsi sket. based on my experience taw!dlm exam bio abemat kt asassi dulu, abemat mmg blank sgt2 sbb xigt satu term yg sgt pnting taw,pstu abemat terigt pesan ummi abemat, dia kata "kalau *** x igt mende yg *** pernah baca, bacalah surah al-insyirah, insyaAllah mende tu dtg balek".. so amalkn ye!!! #footnote: *** tu tandanya nama sebenar abemat hehehe:>>>



ok done! abemat ase stakat ni dlu perkongsian kita ye,, last advice! BE ISTIQAMAH, BE YAQIN, and HAVE FAITH!!!

                                                                                                                                     -zidam-

#StudyHoliday

assalamualaikum adek2, akak2, ibu2, bapak2, nenek2, atok2... harap semua nye sehat walaafiat ye... alhamdulillah abemat selamat sampai ke kmpng halaman abemat n fyi cuti midbreak univ abemat gabung ngn cuti raya eid adha taw total smua 10 ari cuti!!! sronok kn????!!! YE!!! mmg SEPATUTNYE seronok tp skrg keadaan dah lain, biasa la kn degree student ape nk buat,, mmg xlepas dr assignment, lab report, revision for the quizzes n mcm2 lg laa!! nak taw x, lps abes cuti ni abemat ade banyaaaak sgt quiz taw. kuiz dr. maryanto la, dr kausar la, dr abdul razak la n dr tijany. tlg doa2kn abemat ye moga dpt la jwb leklok kuiz2 tu. plus lab report abemat pon kena submit btol2  lps abes cuti. n alhamdulillah setelah struggle abes-abesan, dlm masa dua hari lab report tu dpt di siapkn (sepatutnye dlm masa sejam dpt siap tp almaklumlah kn rumah ni bnyak cobaannya so terextend sikit masa) hahaha. abemat ade nk kongsi sikit ni regarding cara kita menimba ilmu. abemat pasti hampirr semua sahabat2 abemat ni prnah dgr perkataan EXAM-ORIENTED kn? n abemat ase ramai yg amalkn mende ni kn? baek ngaku!!! fyi, exam-oriented study ni ialah kita study disebabkan oleh exam semata2, so secara automatis la kita hafal satu persatu ayat dlm buku tu supaya dalam exam kita dpt jawab dgn tepat although kita x faham sebatang haram pon ape yg kita hafal tu. cara study ni mmg sgt2 tidak digalakkan taw. dgn cara ni, mmg kita vomit all la dlm exam n lps exam selesai mmg hilang teros la 'knowledge' tu dlm otak kita kn?. so, abemat nk nasihat sahabat2 sekalian, timba la ilmu dgn cara KNOWLEDGE-ORIENTED, i.e. kita belajar sesuatu perkara sebab kita nk tahu bukan sebab exam. so mcm mana sekalipon, kita mesti automatically nk faham jugak sesuatu ilmu tu. dengan cara ni, xperlu la lg kita hafal bulat2 ayat dlm buku yg boleh menyebabkan kita jd zombieeee,, n klau dpt soalan yg berputar belit mcm mana pon insyaAllah kita bole elaborate jawapan kn sbb kita paham mende tu. so, tepok dada tanya selera. pilih la sama ada korang semua nk jd zombi atau ulama' (org yg berilmu). sekian n selamat studyholiday!!!
                                                                                                                                     -zidam-

#BeAdaptive

assalamualaikum!!! abemat kembali!! fuhh alhamdulillah berkesempatan juga abemat bukak blog abemat ni, rasanye dah approximately 6months abemat xupdate blog ni kn,, ohhh blogku abemat merinduimu haha... abemat ni ade nk kongsi cerita sket ni n sblm tu FYI, abemat skrg dah lbeyh kurang sebulan lebeyh dah blaja kt univ as a degree student nih so bnyk la cerita nk dikongsi kt sni hehe. korang sume nk taw x, idup as a degree student ni mmg trsgt2222 susah seyh! mmg first2 ase sooo stress! ase mcm xnk dah study! ase mcm nk give up je! ase mcm... why?!!!!!!!..<---- perasaan ni mmg common la, mmg akn dialami oleh semua degree students, biasa la kan first2 bru nak adapt kn. almaklumlah, once kita jejak kaki kt univ ni idup kita ni mmg 180degree change! mmg laen tros system kt univ nih klau nk banding ngn system kt asasi/matrik dulu n system skolah menengah. klau nk imbas balik, sekolah menengah dulu semua mende dari A to Z cikgu yg uruskan, cikgu la yg 100% suap ilmu, cikgu la yg photocopy smua notes, cikgu la yg kena arrange kls petang, cikgu la yg tlg cari maklumat tambahan utk subjek dia n cikgu la ibubapa kedua kita (thts why i loooove them all!!!). n now!!! kt univ ni kita on our own feet la yg kena urus dr B-Z ~ nape xde A? mmg sure la xde sbb A tu lecturer uruskan, biasa la kn nama lagi lecturer (mengikut kamus elektronik abemat, lecturer is a preacher, basically lecturer ni juz bg ceramah, juz an instructor iaitu dia cuma guide kita ape yg kita prlu buat n selebihnya kita la yg kena cari sdiri). ade sekali tu sorang lecturer abemat ni, dia lecture psal "moles n millimoles", pstu ade la satu formula ni mmg quite complicated la for d firstimer kn, so, kami pon tanya la mcmmana nk guna formula ni? pstu die jwb: "i don't want to be a teacher, i'm just a lecturer". time tu smua students buat muka peliks, die ni pemalas ke? oh klau piki lecturer ni pemalas mmg u're damnly wrong la, sbb nye first, like i said that is a lecturer indeed, n 2nd-ly, lecturer ni mmg bnyk kerja taw, nk g konvensyen la, nk buat research la, nk buat buku la mmg xla nk explain one-by-one kn. so please be independent, tu je abemat nk nsihat BE INDEPENDENT, you can live by urself sbb korang smua dah besar panjang kn!! tp nk taw x camne nk bg idup kite ni senang? haaaa, meh abemat nk kongsi, klau nk ringankn beban sikit kita kena lah pndai cari KAWAN, kawan ni kadang2 boleh menolong kita as well as boleh mnjatuhkn kita. so pandai2 la cari ye. ye memang betul, kita x boley hidup bagai katak dibawah tempurung, sbb dgn bersosial mengikut batas yg islam gariskan, dpt mengurangkan stress study ok. dgn kawan, kita bole berkongsi ilmu, dgn kawan kita bole bergelak tawa yg dpt relieve d stress, n ngn kawan la kita bole berkongsi masalah, menangis bersama, bersenang bersama because a friend in need is a friend indeed kn! so kalau korang ade kawan yg btol2 penyayang, yg beragama, yg selalu nasihat korang, yg selalu ajak korang ke arah kebaikan, jaga lah perhubungan korang ngn sahabat sebegitu kerana mmg trsgt2 susah nk cari sahabat yg sebegitu rupa skrg ni. n kalau korang terdapat kawan yg suka ajak korang buat maksiat, ajak korang lepak2 kosong, cakap2 kosong, selalu ejek korang, pandai2 la korang dakwah puak2 camni, kalau xmmpu plz jauhkan diri dr mereka tu sbb ade risiko korang pon trpengaruh ngn perilaku diorang. abemat rase stakat ni lu perkongsian abemat ngn sahabat2 smua! akhir pena abemat nk nasihat, BE KIND, BE INDEPENDENT, BE WISE, BE STRONG, n remember Allah is always together with us. 

                                                                                                                                                                            -zidam-

#Do'aSelepasBelajarAgarTidakLupa

assalamualaikum adek2 kakak2, atok2 nenek2, anak2 cucu2, n sedara mara abe mat sekalian, ni abe mat nak kongsi satu do'a yg abe mat ase sesuai kepada sape2 yg xputus2 menuntut ilmu dan ingat la sesungguh nye menuntut ilmu itu adelah difardhukan kepada semua umat islam. do'a ni pendek dan simple je ok, dibaca lepas kite study ataupon lepas kite mndapat ilmu.. ni dia doa tu:

اللهم إني أستودعك ما علمتنيه فردده إلي عند حاجتي إليه ولا تنسنيه يا رب العالمين

maksudnye: 

Ya ALLAH, aku mempertaruhkan kepadaMu apa yang telah Engkau ajarkan padaku, maka pulangkanlah semula padaku apabila aku memerlukannya dan janganlah Engkau jadikan aku lupa padanya wahai Tuhan alam semesta..

Selamat beramal semua!!! :) "membangun bersama islam"
                                                                                                                                                        -zidam-

#MeAndMyLastSemester..

"you have less then 2 weeks left to revise the chapters.".. seriously speaking madam?!!!.. betapa terkezzutnye abe mat time instructor biology2 abe mat iaitu madam u-know-who trsyg ckp camtu. mcm2 abe mat piki, positive n negative smua ade!! but tht's the reality,,, abe mat mahu x mau kena face jgk kn? redho je la. alhamdulillah for biology2 semua syllabus dah trcover hari ni (20/4/2012). n for mathematics2 syukur, madam dah cover minggu lepas lg, mdm ckp "syukur laa kite cover awl2  sbb nti xpyh la nk rush2 last minute cam group2 laen", tht's true but actually mdm, group kite awl2 lg rush taw! tp it's ok biar rush asal paham kn mdm kn? (luv u). for EAW plak mmg abe mat brsyukur sgt2 sbb dah beres presentation research paper abe mat pasal biji yg sungguh misteri yg brtajuk~ mane boley bgtaw. FYI, semester last ni kt CFSIIUM terasa cam pack gegile ngn assignment EAW n BIO2 yg quite complicated plus presentation lg mmg memening kn kepala tp puas hati yg teramat lps selesai semua tu bak kata pepatah brsusah2 dahulu brsenang2 kmudian berpening2 dahulu brsenang2 hati kmudian, kn?? last2 moment last sem ni la terasa sedih sgt2 sbb makin dekat abe mat nk tinggalkn CFS ni tp again THT'S REALITY! THT'S LIFE! sesuatu yg kite syg kt dunia ni bukan nye selama2 nye kite boleh miliki n wajib gak last skali trcerai oleh perpisahan T_T. experience abe mat kt sini mmg trsgt sweet! kt sini la abe mat jumpa pelbagai jenis manusia, ade yg baik, ade yg kurang baik, ade yg hipokrit, n mcm2 la. kt sini gak la abe mat belaja cara idup berdikari (skema gile ayt ni). smua lecturer2 kt sni baek2 taw wlaupon ade gak yg strict n i luv them all!! abe mat jgk rase amt2 brtuah sbb dpt masuk CFS ni,, dgn islamic environment lg, dgn majlis2 ilmu yg bnyak kt sini, ngn kwn2 yg baek lg, mmg susah la nk jumpa kt universiti2 laen,, fuhhhh terase brtuah sgt!! btw, kpd juniors yg akn register bulan 6 ni abe mat nk ucap tahniah sgt2 sbb kamu semua ni org2 yg trsgt2 brtuah sbb trpilih msuk CFSIIUM ni n see you nti yek sbb abe mat akn jd committee taaruf week nti. abe mat nak nasihat sikit wahai juniors sekalian, kbnyakan juniors takut nk msuk CFS ni sbb alasan nye xde basic ARAB la xpower ENGLISH la n mcm2 lg. eh korang! jgn takut la! sbb arab kt CFS ni just piece of cake laa, kacang je sbb smuanye blaja yg basic taw. n for ENGLISH plak, dun worry, klau korang semua blaja btul2, rajin tanye soaln n xponteng kelas, mmg insyaAllah kejap je lulus. Percaya laaaaa, abe mat ni hmpir 2 tahun duk sini taw....
                                                                                                                                                        -zidam-

#BatSignal..

#WeightConverted!

#HidupBerdikariMemangSusahKe???

    Assalamualaikum.. fazmin (bukan nama sebenar) disini sy nk berkongsi cerita dengan korang semua tentang hidup berdikari... Cerita nya bermula dengan rumah sewa aku dan kawan2 aku semua... hidup tanpa ibu dan bapa ni mula2 memang susah actually, makan kena cari sendari untuk terus hidup, baju kain kena basuh sdri.. Hidup kami macam cite P.Ramlee "Bujang Lapok".. semuanya serba susah dlm hidup berdikari ni.. Sekarang dah 2tahun 2bulan aku hidup tanpa ibu bapa ajar aku cara2 nk berdikari... Dalam rumah sewa kawan-kawan aku macam2 perangai yang ada, bak kata pepatah 'rambut sama hitam hati masing2' (btul ke pepatah ak ni? haha), di sini bermula nya aku blajar erti kehidupan sebenar serta kesabaran & boleh tengok mcm2 prangai manusia yang ada atas muka bumi ini. mmg btul Allah cipta manusia dgn mcm2 perangai ni utk kite mengenali antara satu sama lain n utk kite saling berda'wah kn. Amey ( bukan nama sebanr) aku paling tidak suke dengan cara & gaya dia..Dia slalu nk tunjuk yg dia lebih hebat dari aku dn kawan2 semua, (tu nama dia takabbur, dosa taw jgn ikut).. Alif (bukan nama sbnr) nie sorg lg prngai lebih matang skit pd aku n semua. kami berlima umur sama tua tp pragai je xsama.. hehehe Alif nie seorg yg sush nk bgn pg, time nk balik kg masa tu dia n Amey la susah nk bgn.. kami ber3 siap dh tp dia org xbgn lg.. yg tu buat kesabaran aku semakn tercabar waktu itu... Mawi ( bukan nama sebanr) nie lg sorng budak yg sngt2 kuat isap rokok (rokok tu haram taw, ulama' dah sepakat).. xdop rokok apa sja dia sggp buat asal kn dpt rokok... Jere (bukan nama sbnr) nie lagi sorg budak bilik aku jgk, seorg yg suka2 mununjuk apa yg org ada mesti dia ade... aku pun hairan dgn dia nie,sume bnda di tahu nk buat kalu aku dpt buat gak...
    Sampai sini sja la aku nok kongsi cita aku dgn korng sume.. nati aku kan sambung balik cita aku yg xseberapa nie.. hahahaha.. yg baik jdkn teladan n yg buruk jdkn sempadan... wassalam
                                                                                                                                                         -aqim-

#TheDayIWillNeverForget

It was a cloudy Friday morning. The chirping of birds broke the silence of the morning .I woke up early along with my husband. It supposed to be the special day for our daughter, Cathy. Her birthday arrived, but my husband and I had to go to a graveyard instead, where she waited there for the rest of our life. I knelt down with my hand gently rub a tombstone. Wind blowing softly, as it brought along sorrowful feeling filled my chest. Wordlessly, my heart wrecked when all the memory from the past started to flood my mind.

**********************************************************************************

                Cathy lived normally like the other children. She loved to play, ran around, built sandcastles, and always looking for me to hug with. She was a beautiful and adorable kid. But something I realized about her and it got clearer every day. I was tried not to think about it, but I cannot denied the fact that she got weaker, her step got slower, and she easily got tired in the halfway. She always loved to play around, but then, it seemed like she struggled so hard to do her routine activity. One day, while she running, she was suddenly skipped her step and fell down to the ground. Without letting any moment, I ran towards, and grabbed her faint body. Her face was pale bloodlessly. I felt like all the worries which kept burdening me all this while, collapsed at once became a reality. My husband and I sent her to the hospital. Worst possibilities kept playing in our mind, but we tried to think positively. Emergency light turned off and a doctor came out with a guilty face. From the expression, I knew something terrible must have happened to Cathy. My heart stop beating and my vision gone black out when knowing that my daughter, had brain cancer and had only 3 months to live. I had fainted.

                Knowing about the cancer was the worst thing had I ever faced. I felt like my heart was smashed on a dry stone. Cathy and I were so closed. When I feel down, she had delighted me. Five years my husband and I lived without child, Cathy then came into our life filled the emptiness. She cherished our dull marriage. She made me felt like breath again. When she was about to leave me, I felt like the God being injustice to me. I felt very sad, felt lonely already although Cathy was still living. I really cannot accept the fact that Cathy was moving away from me when I needed her for longer period. I needed her so much. That was when I made the biggest mistake in my life, when I started to isolate myself, did anything to make me busy, so that I can kept myself away from my daughter. I thought that was the only way to make me less sad about her leaving me. But I didn’t realized that the thing I was doing will haunting me after her death for the rest of my life. I sank into my foolishness.   

                “Knock, knock, knock,” the door of my room have been knocked by someone. From the weak sound of it, I knew that was my daughter standing behind the door. I was just ignoring it, deafening my ear. “Mom, are you in there? Father served us dinner, let’s eat together, I want to share plate with you like we always did before,” weak voice of Cathy was calling me. Tears dropped from my eyes after hearing those words from Cathy. I remembered how we used to share our food. She used to be very happy every time I fed her foods from my plate. But I strengthen myself not to respond as she continued knocking and calling. Not for long, I chose to hurt her feeling by answering, “stop calling me! I’m busy in here, just have your dinner!” I yelled. “Ok mom, I’m sorry,” she replied with a mixed voice. She was even too weak to cry. As I said those words, tears burst from my eyes.

                The same things happened on the following days. She kept finding me and I kept avoiding her. For me, there’s no point to be happy if I knew it was not for so long. I knew finally, I will drown into sadness. My husband always tried to understand, but he also reminded me how wrong I was reacted. I just gave up and let him manage her welfare. Those things dreaded for two months. For Cathy, the last thirty days of her life was the toughest. She could barely speak, her eyes could barely open. That period was when she needed me for the most. It was tough for me too. I just lock myself in my room while counting down the last thirty days. The truth was, my behaviour hurts Cathy a lot. I made her emotionally tensed. For god sake, she was only eight, having brain cancer that really sensitive to emotional change. I exposed her into an unhealthy environment. I thought she was still having her thirty days, but on that night, my husband knocked the door so hardly, he yelled with panic voice; “ honey, Cathy’s condition going wrong! She keeps skipping her breath! For the love of God, please come out before too late!” On that moment, I realised about what I have done for the past two months. I dug my own grave, all those mistakes stroke at once. I felt like thousands needles prickled on my heart. The rain was not drip but poured. “Cathy!!” I yelled out aloud. I tried to catch her last breath, but all were too late for me. Cathy was gone permanently.

                I looked down to Cathy’s calm face. I stared at every lines and curves on her face. I could saw she suffered a lot from brain cancer. I had supposed to reduce her suffering, but instead I doubled it. I felt very sinful and guilty upon her. I cannot stop crying. Slowly, my husband handed a little box to me. “Cathy asked me favour to give this box to you. That was her last wish. You might want to know it’s content.” He whispered. I locked myself alone in the room with Cathy’s dead body by my side. Slowly, I opened the box. It contained a lot of candy wrappers with a pink note above it. Cathy wrote the note, she said:                                 

“Dear beloved mom,

                Do you still remember all these candies? You were always bought my favourite candy when returning from work every day. Every time I finished eating a candy, I will kissed its wrapper and keep it in this box. So that, one day when you opened this box, you will receive thousands of kisses from me. Father made me understand the reason you kept away yourself from me. I knew it all along that you never hate me. Mom, I love you so much and thanks for giving me such a great time. Please make a place for me in your memory so that I can accompany you forever.

*Life is precious, live it and never lose fight, I will miss you for a lifetime.

                                                                                                                                                Love, Cathy”.

After reading the last words from Cathy, I cried for her name aloud, so did with my heart. I hugged her dead body and kissed her face many times. My soul filled with useless regrets. But I knew I have to let her go and move on with my life as she wanted me to be. I will never lose fight.

*********************************************************************************

                When I realized, I was still holding the tombstone. I wiped my tears and cleaned the grave. I looked up to the sky, I could saw her smile. The clouds moved on as the sky got bright again. So do with my life. All in all, I will never forget those days and I promise myself to be a better mother. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                             -niad-

#HormatiYangTua,SayangiYangMuda

Salam sejahtera, semoga Allah rahmati anda semua..

Kepada pemerhati Abe Mat Slekeh, Sama ade melalui FB, Twitter, dan blog, mesti anda semua tahu perkembangan dan tumbesaran abe mat bermula daripada geng lipat mase muda2 dulu(hehe) hinggalah abe mat jadi tua kerepot hingga nampak slekeh(hehe again)..Almaklum, dulu abe mat suke lipat orang, xkiralah tua atau muda, yang mana abe mat rase xkena, adela yg trkena. So abe mat nk kongsi sikit la ape yg abe mat blajar daripada pengalaman melipat ni memandangkan ramai antara kita yg suka condemn orang dengan ayat2 tajam dan memanaskan telinga. fenomena ni juga dapat dilihat dalam dunia korporat apabila orang yang lebih berpangkat 'menukul' orang2 bawahan mereka. Perkara ni membuatkn orang yg besar kepala menjadi lebih besar butut atah dahi manakala mereka kene terjah akn lebih rase terhina. Adakalanya jadi marah dan berdendam. Bak kata adik bongsu abe mat, naruto, adik kepada kakashi naturo(tgk fb): chain of hatred will be born....

saudara saudari yg dihormati,

kebanyakan mereka yang suka mengamalkn perangai ni merasakn bende tu perlu kerana ia mencerminkan ketegasan dalam mengubah sesuatu kekurangan.Maka, disitulah bermulanya kesilapan kite....
Ye, memang betul, sesuatu kesilapan perlu diubah, tapi tidakkah lebih molek jika kita ambil pendekatan dengan lebih berhikmah?perlu ke jadi sinis dan guna ayat2 pedas untuk menarik perhatian orang sekeliling?Abe Mat dulu mengamalkn sikap macam gitu, rasenye seronok, tapi fikir2 balik, manusia yang kita condemn tu bukannye baru sehari dua hidup atas muka bumi ni. Dengan umur yg dh banyak, hidup dengan latar belakang yang kita tak pernah tahu, setiap manusia membina pandangan hidup masing2, sama ada betul atau salah, perkara tersebut terbina atas rasional pemikiran sendiri dan kita sebagai random guy to a random guy, biarlah sebagus mana pun kita, tunjuklah rase hormat sesama manusia dan sebarang teguran, buatlh secara berhikmah. Pilihlh ayat2 yang tidak akan menyentuh perasaan mane2 fulan yg mendengar. These apply toward the older n the younger. Bak kata pujangga katak yang selambe dan tenang," hormati yang tua, sayangi yang muda". oung...oung...oung...
                                                                                                                                         -niad-

#2012InternetSecurityRank

BitDefender  Internet Security	Kaspersky Internet Security	Panda Internet Security	AVG Internet Security	Norton Internet Security	F-Secure Internet Security	Avast Internet Security	ESET Smart Security	G Data Internet Security	BullGuard Internet Security

    #1              #2              #3              #4           #5             #6             #7             #8          #9        #10

Webroot SecureAnywhere Essentials	McAfee Internet Security	Trend Micro Titanium Internet Security	PC Tools Internet Security	Vipre Internet Security	Outpost Security Suite Pro	eScan Internet Security Suite	ZoneAlarm Internet Security	TrustPort Internet Security	CA Internet Security Suite

       #11             #12          #13          #14          #15          #16         #17            #18       #19         #20

#Bosan

Bosan betul la rase malam nie, nk tgk cita pun tak sedap2...ASTRO pun xde, game2 sedap pun xde..nk maen facebook lagi la boring asyik tgk muka same je hari2... esak nak balik kampung,dah 3 minggu xbalik kampung nie..rindu bangat kg kampung halaman abe mat..berek2,lembu,kucing, sapo lah jago kg tu (biar xdop sekor pun binate) hehehe.. berasa boring plok dok negeri ore nie..make pun bnyk duit pun makin hari makin skit..kalu lah duit nie mace air hari2 tubik kot bank tu kei sedap... xsusah2 nk cari duit plk..hahahaha..abe mat sajo jah nie nk post2 blog nie..nok kongsi cita sbnr nga korang semua...so same2 ade masalah dengn 'boring' sila la komen2 blog abe mat nie k....

Assalamualaikum....

#Sedih:(

Abe Mat Slekeh

        Sedih nya bila tgk org laen wt blog kita pun nk try tiru jgk ,yg kita nie xsedar bru nk blajr..satu pun xfhm bub2 blog nie..heheh sape nk tolum ajr abe mat maen blog nie..??? ade ke?? sudi ke???

        Sha Comey je yg bnyk tolum abe mat tp abe mat tetap xfhm lg cara2 nk LINK ore nie..LIKE pndai la..hahahaha. sha comey jage maroh abe mat deh?? abe mat tgh blajr nie bub kta org tua 'budak2 mentah lagi'.. hahaha. ape2 pun kalu korng semua baca blog abe mat nie tolum2 la ajr ye & follow la blog abe mat nie...
                                                                                                                                        -aqim-

#GagalBolos190kgOtakLembu

Otak Lembu

KAHERAH – Pegawai di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Kaherah merampas 190 kilogram otak lembu beku kelmarin daripada tiga pelancong Sudan yang merancang menjualnya kepada restoran di Mesir, kata pihak berkuasa.

Pegawai memberitahu, ia adalah kali keempat minggu ini pegawai kastam gagalkan cubaan menyeludup otak lembu ke negara itu.

Sekali gus, ia menunjukkan adanya cubaan untuk mengeksploitasi skim mendapatkan wang dengan cara mudah berdasarkan prinsip bekalan dan permintaan antarabangsa. Selain itu, kejadian berkenaan mengesahkan bahawa otak lembu murah di Sudan dan rakyat Mesir suka memakan organ itu.

Nilai satu pound (0.453 gram) otak lembu mentah yang dibeli di Sudan pada harga tidak sampai satu dolar (RM3.1) boleh dijual di Mesir pada harga enam kali ganda lebih tinggi, kata pegawai.

Ia bermakna rampasan kelmarin itu membolehkan tiga lelaki berkenaan mendapat keuntungan lebih AS$1,500 (RM4,699).

Restoran yang menghidangkan hati dan otak haiwan popular di Mesir. Ia selalunya digoreng dan dimakan dengan roti pita dan sos merah pedas.

Pegawai lapangan terbang menemui otak itu kelmarin ketika memeriksa kotak pembeku besar yang dibawa masuk oleh pelancong berkenaan dalam penerbangan dari Khartoum.

Selepas memeriksa kotak itu, pegawai merampas otak kerana tidak dapat memastikan ia diawet dengan bersih. Otak itu akan dibakar, kata pegawai yang enggan dikenali.

Otak lembu turut popular dalam masakan di Perancis, Itali, El Salvador, Mexico, Portugal, Indonesia dan Amerika, dikenali sebagai ‘sesos’ dalam bahasa Sepanyol serta dimakan dalam hidangan ‘tacos’ dan ‘quesadillas’.

Apapun, amalan memakan otak lembu ketika ini amat berkurangan kerana kebimbangan jangkitan ‘Bovine spongiform encephalopathy’ atau turut dipanggil penyakit lembu gila (BSE). Penyakit itu, biasanya disebabkan orang ramai memakan organ haiwan yang ada penyakit. – AP/Agensi

#ThatOneFriendWho

assalamualaikum n a very gud day you all... ni nk cite sket psal ade la sorang kawan abemat ni,, ni bukn ngumpat ok tp sbg pngajaran tuk you all ye... name die xbleh mention kt sni (bahaya) tp sy n d geng pnggil die tikus sedih, bukn ape tp kmi pnggil tikus sbb dia suka mnyemak n sedih pulak sbb everytime dia berkata-kata msty ngn nada sedih (annoying x) smpai abe mat sdiri sayup je hati masa ckp ngn dia, so you all msti la tahu ways for proper communication ok, kena tahu bila nk guna nada gembira, sedih, excited, bosan,, bru la you all ni nmpk charismatic sket... dulu dia xlah annoyed abemat sgt, tp lps kejadian ni abemat mmg rase trlalu tidak selesa brsama dia... gini citenya, sem ni abemat duk dlm bilik yg dah trmuat 10org satu bilik, pastu dtg la si tikus sedih ni tnya abemat, "boleh x ak tumpang compartment mu?, bilik ak rmai smoker la". abemat trdiam sbntr memikirkn bilik tu da pack ngn 10org, nk ckp xbleh bunyi mcm kejam je... abemat pun kata, "ak xbleh buat any decision lg right now sbb compartment ni bukan ak sorng yg diami, nti mu tnya la roomate ak yg sorng lg deh",... roomate sy tu dia sruh org pnggil dia mr. awesome... mr.awesome ni fussy sket org nya, so, i expected dia akn tolak prmintaan si tikus ni tp booom!!!!, trkejut abemat dia kata ok, u can tumpang kt sini.. how come this happened ha? tu la persoalan yg brmain di minda abe mat mse tu... huhuhuhu.. a minute later, si tikus ni pon masuk bilik abemat ngn mmbawa smua bagasi dia utk whole sem,, trbeliak mata abemat n mr. awesome. then, dia pon bukak locker milik abemat yg dah trsusun kemas bju2 abemat dlm tu lalu brkata, "ak amek locker bi deh nk simpan barang2 ak... abemat pon dlm hati berteriak "shoot(proper word for SHIT) la die ni!!!!!!" argh, trpksa la abemat pindah barang2 abemat dlm locker lg satu, nsib baek ade 2locker klau x mmpus abemat kena share ngn dia... pastu, for your info, dlm bilik abemat ni da trsedia cukup2 sorang satu meja study kt ruang study, tp ngn muka x tau malu si tkus tu dia amek plak salah satu meja tu yang mana meja tu milik geng abemat yg famous ngn pnggilan mr. plywood... smua geng2 abemat xpuas aty ngn sitikus ni, smpy bila la dia nk tumpang kt sni, x kn la dia xde any conscience dalam diri dia kn? piki logic la bro, mcm la dia x tau college's rules n regultions: SQUATTING IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED, mkna nya dia ni mcm PATI la kn...emm, kata mr.awesome he got idea how to kick him out from our room, tgk la jadi ke x plan dia tu... so, you all para readers semua, pls concern about others feeling ok, think logically, have conscience, solve your mess wisely, don't burden others with your mess n know who u are,,,...
                                                                                                                                                        -zidam-

#GomoKelateGomo

Perlawanan piala Sumbangsih 2012

Sajo2 jah nok bagi kato2 semangt ko pasukan kelate nie (TRW),boring tok tahu nok wt gpo etap male nie nok tido pun xngatok...Abe Mat harap la sangat2 la Kelate boleh wt balik pulok piala sumbangsih tahu nie n tutup mulut peminat N.9 tu..Gomo Kelate Gomo!!

 James Butler

James Butler jurulatih pasukan kelantan berkata pasukan kelantan esk akan bermain dengn lbh angrisf dan bijak mngator corak2 permainan untuk mendapat kemenangan piala sumbangsih 2012 ini, kata james butle  d bukit jalil pete tadi.. Abe Mat : kato James Butler tu harap2 la kenyatan la esok..hehe

Piya

hahaha abe piya kito,abe mat harap la piya wat yang terrrrbaekkk skali esk deh...Sekali lagi Bukit Jalil akn d'penuhi "lautan merah" pada 7/1/2012 esok male.... okey la malas doh nok tulis panje2,mintok2  kelate esk dapat 2-1 la...huhu GOMO KELATE GOMO!!!

#KelantanVSN.9

Tiket bola Kelantan lawan N.9

Abe Mat Slekeh mintak bola lawe esk menei lah & boleh wt balik pulok piala sumbangsih tahun 2012 nie..Harap2 TRW berlawan dengan  berhabis2 san demi maruah kelate la..abe mat doakn kejayaan pasukan TRW kita terus maju..sedia maklum pd abe2 adik kakak sila la follow blog abe mat nie deh..boleh kita berkongsi masalh kito dale nie...  akhir kata Gomo Kelate Gomo

#Assalamualaikum........

AlhamduliLLAH setelah berjaya mngumpulkan kira2 2000 friends dlm FB Abe Mat Slekeh (a.k.a geng lipat),, kini abe mat nk upgrade sikit cara abe mat luahkan pendapat n buah fikiran abe mat dlm alam maya ni.... InsyaAllah dlm ni abe mat akan brusaha utk brkongsi sbnyk mgkin pandangan n story2 yg berfaedah belaka.... jgn lupa follow e.... hehehe Assalamualaikum